I will be submitting these words to Websters for inclusion in their upcoming dictionary. I will also be very careful to use them often and correctly in written and verbal corrispondence.
Presbymergency - noun. often attributive c. 2007 first coined by Seminarian George Tatro 1. what we have when the Presbymergent movement begins to take itself too seriously.
"The church is facing a major Presbymergency when people begin to discuss the theological implications of Twittering."
Presbymermaid - noun (f) c. 2008 first coined by Seminarian George Tatro 1.a. Female emergent in Presbyterian church who cleans up after Wednesday Night Suds, Sushi, and Saviour. b. Any female Presbyterian emergent who cleans up after an emergent event.
2. Female emergent in Presbyterian church who lives in Copenhagen.
3. Female emergent in Presbyterian church who dips Copenhagen.
4. Presbyterian mermaid. (Calvin reportedly fell overboard while sailing from from Calles to Geneva and was saved by a Mermaid named Areil. As she swam him to shore he converted her to Calvinism from her pagan worship of Neptune. Her descendants have migrated to Scotland and are reportedly often seen around Loch McLaughlin.)
"The faded 4 inch ring in the back of her blue jeans was formed by her Copenhagen tin and as she emerged from the Reform school gates, with tobacco spittle running down her left cheek, I saw my Presbymermaid for who she really was."
Presbymermaiden - n.(f) c. 2008 first coined by Seminarian George Tatro 1. Female emergent in Presbyterian church.
"Tired of the blatent sexism and gender exclusion of the Presbymer-gent movement the girls got together to form the Presbymermaiden Movement."
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Saint George vs. Deceptive Advertising
I share with you now my letter to correct a grave injustice perpetrated on me.
Dear Editors (but most especially Dr. Bartlett),
I know that after you read this you will probably be thinking that I have a lot of free time on my hands today, but I hope that this finds you in good health and spirits.
I purchased my copy of Feasting on the Word and was elated - for here is the book that we preachers have yearned for. A commentary that is comprehensive yet very user friendly. I have been preaching these last two weeks and I noticed something which is very disconcerting - after only two sermons - I was half way through the book. This book set me back nearly $35.
Upon further review I have discovered that this commentary covers only from Advent to Transfiguration. This sir is no feast of the kingdom; it is but a mere aperitif. So the first item I take issue with is the deceptive advertising and marketing.
Of course this information is printed in extremely tiny letters (Presbyopians - which is a subset of both Presbyterians and Episcopalians - cannot read this tiny print. 70% of Presbyterians have presbyopia, something which you relied on in your villainy!) This was no doubt a deception that you and the publisher agreed would lead to increased sales of Eating at the Buffet: Feasting on the Word Volume 2: Transfiguration to 10th Sunday in Ordinary Time. (I know that the Right Rev. Barbara Brown Taylor would never be a party to such as this, so I direct my comments directly to you Rev. Dr. Bartlett.)
But my complaints are not limited to the deceptive print manipulation.
I preached this past Sunday - guided by observations made about Simeon - highlighting the work of the Holy Spirit. In attendance was my mother-in-law, a much more devout Baptist than yourself, and she was not impressed. She told me that I needed to slam the pulpit to get people's attention; and stare them down, so that they would know I was serious. While the congregation was blind to this - and indeed many came up after-wards and thanked me for the powerful Word I shared with them - my mother-in-law was not taken in.
Upon further review - while giving a great deal of direction in dealing with the Word - you utterly fail to give guidance in presenting the Word. Might I suggest that there be a fifth category added in future additions with cues as to appropriate times to slam the pulpit, point fingers, yell, bark, etc. ala Billy Sunday. This is truly valuable information which you have carefully omitted...I hope this doesn't ruin your plans for a separate supplemental volume at some later date. No doubt it would be $24.00 plus tax.
Last, but not least, I do hope in Year A and Year C you will discontinue the deceptive practices of selling half or a third of a book. I have copied this email to several contributors so that they will be aware of what I have just discovered. My hope is that you were going to be forthcoming with royalty checks from Year B Vol. 2, 3, 4 and 5 and not cheat them out of their share - but if not, they are now aware. Remember the laborer is worthy of his/her wages.
I hope that you will take these comments in the spirit in which they are intended. Other than these major flaws I am enjoying the book immensely and I hope to see you all on campus soon as I wind down my seminary career.
A Fool for Christ,
George Tatro
Dear Editors (but most especially Dr. Bartlett),
I know that after you read this you will probably be thinking that I have a lot of free time on my hands today, but I hope that this finds you in good health and spirits.
I purchased my copy of Feasting on the Word and was elated - for here is the book that we preachers have yearned for. A commentary that is comprehensive yet very user friendly. I have been preaching these last two weeks and I noticed something which is very disconcerting - after only two sermons - I was half way through the book. This book set me back nearly $35.
Upon further review I have discovered that this commentary covers only from Advent to Transfiguration. This sir is no feast of the kingdom; it is but a mere aperitif. So the first item I take issue with is the deceptive advertising and marketing.
Of course this information is printed in extremely tiny letters (Presbyopians - which is a subset of both Presbyterians and Episcopalians - cannot read this tiny print. 70% of Presbyterians have presbyopia, something which you relied on in your villainy!) This was no doubt a deception that you and the publisher agreed would lead to increased sales of Eating at the Buffet: Feasting on the Word Volume 2: Transfiguration to 10th Sunday in Ordinary Time. (I know that the Right Rev. Barbara Brown Taylor would never be a party to such as this, so I direct my comments directly to you Rev. Dr. Bartlett.)
But my complaints are not limited to the deceptive print manipulation.
I preached this past Sunday - guided by observations made about Simeon - highlighting the work of the Holy Spirit. In attendance was my mother-in-law, a much more devout Baptist than yourself, and she was not impressed. She told me that I needed to slam the pulpit to get people's attention; and stare them down, so that they would know I was serious. While the congregation was blind to this - and indeed many came up after-wards and thanked me for the powerful Word I shared with them - my mother-in-law was not taken in.
Upon further review - while giving a great deal of direction in dealing with the Word - you utterly fail to give guidance in presenting the Word. Might I suggest that there be a fifth category added in future additions with cues as to appropriate times to slam the pulpit, point fingers, yell, bark, etc. ala Billy Sunday. This is truly valuable information which you have carefully omitted...I hope this doesn't ruin your plans for a separate supplemental volume at some later date. No doubt it would be $24.00 plus tax.
Last, but not least, I do hope in Year A and Year C you will discontinue the deceptive practices of selling half or a third of a book. I have copied this email to several contributors so that they will be aware of what I have just discovered. My hope is that you were going to be forthcoming with royalty checks from Year B Vol. 2, 3, 4 and 5 and not cheat them out of their share - but if not, they are now aware. Remember the laborer is worthy of his/her wages.
I hope that you will take these comments in the spirit in which they are intended. Other than these major flaws I am enjoying the book immensely and I hope to see you all on campus soon as I wind down my seminary career.
A Fool for Christ,
George Tatro
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
St. George vs Twittering Presbymergents
And blessed is the one who takes no offense at Me.
Matthew 11:6
I have been checking out the Twittering Presbymergents and all there new fangled ideas and I must say that I am wholly unimpressed. I am having a real hard time finding what it is that they are so excited about. It is strange to me because I know some really smart people who are excited or at least interested in what the Presbymergent movement might mean for the church.
My hope is that something else emerges from this emergence because we have a Presbymergency on our hands!
"You just don't get it." "You are just afraid." they twitter amongst themselves.
No, I am afraid of picking up snakes and drinking strychnine, which they do on Sand Mountain.
So I don't go to Sand Mountain because I don't have enough faith.
But their seems to me to be an overabundance of faith in this new way of being they call Presbymergent. And the limits of their preferred medium of communication become instantly clear because they can't tell if I am joking or serious, because emotion - that tricky thing that separates us from Vulcans - cannot be conveyed in a blog; we must get together.
Unfortunately, we can't get together; I would find you tedious and you would find me unbearable and it wouldn't be pleasant for either one of us. So go in peace to love and serve the Lord, pray that God is at work in my life, and take no offense in me.
Matthew 11:6
I have been checking out the Twittering Presbymergents and all there new fangled ideas and I must say that I am wholly unimpressed. I am having a real hard time finding what it is that they are so excited about. It is strange to me because I know some really smart people who are excited or at least interested in what the Presbymergent movement might mean for the church.
My hope is that something else emerges from this emergence because we have a Presbymergency on our hands!
"You just don't get it." "You are just afraid." they twitter amongst themselves.
No, I am afraid of picking up snakes and drinking strychnine, which they do on Sand Mountain.
So I don't go to Sand Mountain because I don't have enough faith.
But their seems to me to be an overabundance of faith in this new way of being they call Presbymergent. And the limits of their preferred medium of communication become instantly clear because they can't tell if I am joking or serious, because emotion - that tricky thing that separates us from Vulcans - cannot be conveyed in a blog; we must get together.
Unfortunately, we can't get together; I would find you tedious and you would find me unbearable and it wouldn't be pleasant for either one of us. So go in peace to love and serve the Lord, pray that God is at work in my life, and take no offense in me.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
St. George vs Intinction
To my brothers and sisters in diaspora,
Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
Sunday morning, the first Sunday of the month, and for PCUSA churches across the land it is time to break some bread and dip in some wine.
(For those who are more on the order side it is the time for chicklets and dosing cups - we don't want an unfair distribution of Jesus!)
All were fed and we were collecting the chalices and the bread when two strangers walked into the sanctuary.
Matthew 15
Clean and Unclean
1Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, 2"Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!"
They approached the Elders who still had the Eucharist, skipped right over the body of Christ and.....
DRANK FROM THE CHALICES!!!!!!
I put down the bread - it was a nice Challah, really good for dipping - and fell in right behind them and took communion by intinction as is the custom in this congregation.
I then returned to my spot behind the table, took the blessed elements, and offered communion to the pastor.
The liturgy continued...
After the service they stayed in the sanctuary; they stayed after everybody else had left; they stayed until they could face the world again.
Greetings in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,
Sunday morning, the first Sunday of the month, and for PCUSA churches across the land it is time to break some bread and dip in some wine.
(For those who are more on the order side it is the time for chicklets and dosing cups - we don't want an unfair distribution of Jesus!)
All were fed and we were collecting the chalices and the bread when two strangers walked into the sanctuary.
Matthew 15
Clean and Unclean
1Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, 2"Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don't wash their hands before they eat!"
They approached the Elders who still had the Eucharist, skipped right over the body of Christ and.....
DRANK FROM THE CHALICES!!!!!!
I put down the bread - it was a nice Challah, really good for dipping - and fell in right behind them and took communion by intinction as is the custom in this congregation.
I then returned to my spot behind the table, took the blessed elements, and offered communion to the pastor.
The liturgy continued...
After the service they stayed in the sanctuary; they stayed after everybody else had left; they stayed until they could face the world again.
Being host to angels in disguise,
"when did we see you Lord?"
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