Saint George vs. Deceptive Advertising

I share with you now my letter to correct a grave injustice perpetrated on me.

Dear Editors (but most especially Dr. Bartlett),

I know that after you read this you will probably be thinking that I have a lot of free time on my hands today, but I hope that this finds you in good health and spirits.

I purchased my copy of Feasting on the Word and was elated - for here is the book that we preachers have yearned for. A commentary that is comprehensive yet very user friendly. I have been preaching these last two weeks and I noticed something which is very disconcerting - after only two sermons - I was half way through the book. This book set me back nearly $35.

Upon further review I have discovered that this commentary covers only from Advent to Transfiguration. This sir is no feast of the kingdom; it is but a mere aperitif. So the first item I take issue with is the deceptive advertising and marketing.

Of course this information is printed in extremely tiny letters (Presbyopians - which is a subset of both Presbyterians and Episcopalians - cannot read this tiny print. 70% of Presbyterians have presbyopia, something which you relied on in your villainy!) This was no doubt a deception that you and the publisher agreed would lead to increased sales of Eating at the Buffet: Feasting on the Word Volume 2: Transfiguration to 10th Sunday in Ordinary Time. (I know that the Right Rev. Barbara Brown Taylor would never be a party to such as this, so I direct my comments directly to you Rev. Dr. Bartlett.)

But my complaints are not limited to the deceptive print manipulation.

I preached this past Sunday - guided by observations made about Simeon - highlighting the work of the Holy Spirit. In attendance was my mother-in-law, a much more devout Baptist than yourself, and she was not impressed. She told me that I needed to slam the pulpit to get people's attention; and stare them down, so that they would know I was serious. While the congregation was blind to this - and indeed many came up after-wards and thanked me for the powerful Word I shared with them - my mother-in-law was not taken in.

Upon further review - while giving a great deal of direction in dealing with the Word - you utterly fail to give guidance in presenting the Word. Might I suggest that there be a fifth category added in future additions with cues as to appropriate times to slam the pulpit, point fingers, yell, bark, etc. ala Billy Sunday. This is truly valuable information which you have carefully omitted...I hope this doesn't ruin your plans for a separate supplemental volume at some later date. No doubt it would be $24.00 plus tax.

Last, but not least, I do hope in Year A and Year C you will discontinue the deceptive practices of selling half or a third of a book. I have copied this email to several contributors so that they will be aware of what I have just discovered. My hope is that you were going to be forthcoming with royalty checks from Year B Vol. 2, 3, 4 and 5 and not cheat them out of their share - but if not, they are now aware. Remember the laborer is worthy of his/her wages.

I hope that you will take these comments in the spirit in which they are intended. Other than these major flaws I am enjoying the book immensely and I hope to see you all on campus soon as I wind down my seminary career.

A Fool for Christ,
George Tatro